"All that we know is still infinitely less than all that still remains unknown."
~William Harvey
~William Harvey
Integrative Essay
Phoebe G. Lifton
Integrative Essay
Spring 2010
One year older, one more country, and a whole year of experiences carved into the curves, cavities and calluses, marking my body leaving a permanent effect on who I am and who I will be next year.
I surprised myself the other day by jumping off a bridge. I jumped without thinking, without hesitation, I jumped for my future. Usually jumping off a bridge ends ones future but my jump was safe, intentional, and fully harnessed, I bungee jumped. Growing up I was afraid of everything, heights, ants and change. I was never able to hang upside down from the monkey bars because I was too afraid of falling, I never slid down the fire poles on the playground for fear of the height and even when everybody else was, I couldn’t ever get the guts to jump off the swings. I also cried, a lot. Ok, I still cry but it’s more controlled now. The difference has come in the way that I deal with things; I lead my education and my life with less fear and more confidence.
I remember last semester in Steven’s class, he told us at one point that one of Global College’s goals is to teach us how to teach ourselves. I see myself starting to do this, in my 2-week independent study on happiness and my independent study that looked at my health and in my assignments. I am beginning to take information and turn it into something that is relevant for me in my education while also applying it, when appropriate, to myself. It gives me a sense of pride to know that I accomplished something not because a teacher showed it to me, but because I took the subject and presented something to them (see Indigenous Peoples for my essay & artistic representation on Guayasamin’s painting “El Grito”)
Academically this year and especially this semester I became more aware of my relationship and connection to the global. Talking about the structure of the capitalist system helped me put in perspective the roles of Latin America the United States and myself, as a tourist, student and US citizen. I use to only have this perception of corrupt government as solely the United States but this year I looked outside of this at the G20 and the capitalist system and realized it is so much bigger. At middle of this semester was when I really understood this, I was so frustrated with the world I felt let down. I kept going even though I didn’t want to, finding out more layers to what I had learned.
Before, I was aware of what it meant to be a consumer and the freedom and impact that made but in the global context I didn’t realize my role. In Nicaragua I read, felt and saw the results of the capitalist system and the perpetuation of government corruption (and the United States role in that). Volunteering in Ceibo-bokis I lived totally outside of the system and learned what this lifestyle is like. All of this made me very frustrated and confused about my life I thought about my future and where I want to be. This experience made me feel like a fly, the victim caught in the web of this massive system, bigger then me. Here I am, caught.
As I see it, I’m not done learning; I am not ready to give up. I may be stuck but I still have wings. I have learned too much to condense into this paper from just one year and although I am frightened with what I am faced with in India I think it is the next step in my education. I want to live and experience a place that plays such a big role in the world economy, I want to see a culture much more foreign to mine and a population maybe too large and diverse for me understand all of it.
I jumped into this school and this whole experience not knowing what it would be like and what it has given me this year is the confidence for bigger jumps and leaps of bigger heights.
Integrative Essay
Spring 2010
One year older, one more country, and a whole year of experiences carved into the curves, cavities and calluses, marking my body leaving a permanent effect on who I am and who I will be next year.
I surprised myself the other day by jumping off a bridge. I jumped without thinking, without hesitation, I jumped for my future. Usually jumping off a bridge ends ones future but my jump was safe, intentional, and fully harnessed, I bungee jumped. Growing up I was afraid of everything, heights, ants and change. I was never able to hang upside down from the monkey bars because I was too afraid of falling, I never slid down the fire poles on the playground for fear of the height and even when everybody else was, I couldn’t ever get the guts to jump off the swings. I also cried, a lot. Ok, I still cry but it’s more controlled now. The difference has come in the way that I deal with things; I lead my education and my life with less fear and more confidence.
I remember last semester in Steven’s class, he told us at one point that one of Global College’s goals is to teach us how to teach ourselves. I see myself starting to do this, in my 2-week independent study on happiness and my independent study that looked at my health and in my assignments. I am beginning to take information and turn it into something that is relevant for me in my education while also applying it, when appropriate, to myself. It gives me a sense of pride to know that I accomplished something not because a teacher showed it to me, but because I took the subject and presented something to them (see Indigenous Peoples for my essay & artistic representation on Guayasamin’s painting “El Grito”)
Academically this year and especially this semester I became more aware of my relationship and connection to the global. Talking about the structure of the capitalist system helped me put in perspective the roles of Latin America the United States and myself, as a tourist, student and US citizen. I use to only have this perception of corrupt government as solely the United States but this year I looked outside of this at the G20 and the capitalist system and realized it is so much bigger. At middle of this semester was when I really understood this, I was so frustrated with the world I felt let down. I kept going even though I didn’t want to, finding out more layers to what I had learned.
Before, I was aware of what it meant to be a consumer and the freedom and impact that made but in the global context I didn’t realize my role. In Nicaragua I read, felt and saw the results of the capitalist system and the perpetuation of government corruption (and the United States role in that). Volunteering in Ceibo-bokis I lived totally outside of the system and learned what this lifestyle is like. All of this made me very frustrated and confused about my life I thought about my future and where I want to be. This experience made me feel like a fly, the victim caught in the web of this massive system, bigger then me. Here I am, caught.
As I see it, I’m not done learning; I am not ready to give up. I may be stuck but I still have wings. I have learned too much to condense into this paper from just one year and although I am frightened with what I am faced with in India I think it is the next step in my education. I want to live and experience a place that plays such a big role in the world economy, I want to see a culture much more foreign to mine and a population maybe too large and diverse for me understand all of it.
I jumped into this school and this whole experience not knowing what it would be like and what it has given me this year is the confidence for bigger jumps and leaps of bigger heights.
